(Seven television jobs, he told me.) His mood changed, he said, perhaps because moods tend to get better when you’re having more sex, getting more jobs, making more money, and feeling more confident. Not just more sex, but sex with guys he thought were hotter. Timothy wanted to get muscles quickly, to feel more attractive, to see his arms, his back, his chest finally show off all the work he was putting them through.Īfter he took a three-month cycle of steroids, his muscles swelled and he got exponentially stronger. At the same time, Timothy wasn’t getting any more buff, even though he seemed to dedicate the same amount of time to lifting heavy things up and putting heavy things down. Two of his friends got ripped so fast that Timothy’s shock wasn’t about the effects of the steroids or their frank admission, but rather that they didn’t tell him they were going to do it in the first place. He noticed the men he’d see at auditions, the people he followed on Instagram, and guys at the gym getting bigger and bigger. He saw every action star and every influencer sporting the same impossibly cut look. As a gay man living in Los Angeles, he has been inundated with images of male physical perfection. The movie made getting steroids seem really easy and their benefits really sexy, he says, even though that wasn’t the point the film - which was about their dangers - was trying to get across.Īs doctors, psychologists, and researchers told Vox, Timothy’s reaction is actually not so unusual.Įven before the documentary, Timothy had been kicking the idea around in his head. In 2020, when much of his industry was still struggling to figure out how to return to work, he watched a documentary about steroids being trafficked into the United States. Timothy - who requested to be referred to by a pseudonym so he could speak freely about his steroid use - is an actor, although not one you’d see on the cover of magazines he’s been working for 25 years, and he was on a criminally underrated show that you’ve probably heard of. It was, of course, a little more complicated than that. Timothy says he had nothing to lose during the pandemic, so he took steroids.
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